Christmas tree cutting 101

Better late then never, right?

Yeah, I thought so too. So like two weeks ago we went and cut down a Christmas tree. And I’m not going to lie, it’s difficult to find the perfect tree. It would be helpful if I did not suffer from OCD. Some are too tall. Some are too short. Some have holes.

Some have been peed on by Matt:

Meanwhile, the search continues. We look at rows and rows of trees. Simon says "how about this one?" ten million times while Bennett repeatedly asks, "What you doing, Daddy?"

Ahh! Found it! Our beautiful tree still living and breathing:

Do you think it hurts the tree to be cut?

(Don’t answer that question.)
(I never said I was normal or thought normal thoughts like whether or not a tree can feel pain.)

Matt got down on his knees and starting cutting. We tried to get Bennett to yell TIMBER but instead he just stood there with a "WTF" look on his face:

Oh holy cow! A tractor! Way more fun than walking around a bunch of trees:

(See also: Matt with no jacket, Grandma with earmuffs, and Simon’s open coat. Was it hot or cold? You decide.)
Bennett decided to do the driving which is always a fun time:
We got back to the car and the tree was ghetto-style tied to the top of the van (which we own. We own our van. Are you tired of hearing me talk about my mom mobile? Suck it up buttercup because we own the van!) We thought about tying Simon to the top of the van too but then thought better for it.
We then proceeded to drive 2+ hours with the tree tied to the van. And now the beautiful tree stands in our living room surrounded by presents. I didn’t take any pictures of the decorating stage. (MOM FAIL). It’s all good though. Decorating the tree involves a lot of yelling (IT’S STILL NOT STRAIGHT, MATT. DON’T PUT THAT THERE. IT’S TOO CLOSE), whining (BENNETT QUIT), and mess (SIMON PUT THAT DOWN RIGHT NOW. STOP IT).

Besides, I only blog the good stuff.

See evidence:

This concludes the most boring blog post ever. Look for more equally exciting blog posts this week entitled "How to bore your readers" and "Gingerbread Houses 101."

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