This is the year

It’s been a crazy busy week but what’s new, right? I’ve recently committed to working as much as I can (read: 2 days a week). It’s a New Year and this is the year we are going to get out of debt.

I hate it and I love it.

The more I work, the more money we have, the faster we get out of debt. The less I work, the more I’m home, the slower we get out of debt. The good news is that my work as a substitute is always negotiable. If I don’t feel like going, I don’t answer the phone. If Matt’s schedule changes, I don’t go.

The bad news is that we don’t have a reliable babysitter any more. Our beloved Amy is in her last semester at Ku. She’s working at an internship that will hopefully translate into a full time job this summer. Internship for her future or babysit my adorable children?

I know, annoying.

So, we let Bennett go hang out at his Great-Grandparent’s house. I have major reservations about leaving him alone with them. My Granny (aka Gigi) is in her 80s. She no longer walks and falls frequently when she stands up. She had a stroke a few months ago and has trouble holding a pen. My Grandpa (aka Papa) is grouchy. He’s gets tired easily. He only leaves the house to drive to the store, to take the dog to the Vet, or Gigi to the  hospital  doctor. Mentally they are both sharp but their bodies are defying them. I never want to get old.

But bring them Bennett for a few hours each week? Their whole world becomes happier. They have a reason to get dressed. They go to the store for special food (read: jelly beans, crackers, and cookies). They read him books. They hold him in their lap. They watch PBS. Papa sits on the floor building with him.

And Bennett’s opinion of the whole thing? He loves it. He loves playing with their large lego set. He loves their huge, old person TV. He eats jelly beans by the handful. He asks frequently, "Go Gigi house?" "Go play, Gigi?" He crawls in and out of Gigi’s wheelchair. He runs into her arms.

And so we let him go. We walk away confidently. Gigi and Papa won’t be here forever. I know that. 

Bennett’s fine. They are all fine together.

I hate it.

This is the year when I let go just a little. This is the year we are going to get out of debt.  


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