I think Simon and Bennett’s mission in life is to drive me crazy. Really, really crazy. Either drive me crazy or break me. I’m not really sure. I do know that today I yelled many times and wasn’t very nice and let’s just say that MAMA NEEDS A TIME-OUT RIGHT NOW. Of course, it doesn’t need to be said that Matt was working this afternoon, right?
When headed out the door to attend a birthday party this afternoon, Simon took a full bottle of Gatorade, took off the lid, stuck his hand out the door of the loser cruiser, and POURED IT ON THE GARAGE FLOOR because "it smelled and needed to be dumped."
As I’m pulling into the parking garage to buy a gift for said party, Simon casually mentioned that he dropped his shoe as he was getting into the car. I might have had a major melt-down and informed Simon that I’m sorry but that he would be going into the store and to the birthday party with only one shoe because we were going to be late and it would have been helpful information to know that he dropped his shoe a long time ago and it’s not my responsibility to deal with lost shoes and that next time he should tell me to not start the van because his shoe was missing. HAHAHAHA, JOKE’S ON ME. He dropped his shoe in the car.
After the birthday party, we went for a quick dip in the pool. Simon is still healing from a sunburn so he swam in his t-shirt. As we are leaving the pool, he tripped and fell in the gravel. Wet swim trunks + wet shirt + gravel + dirty kid = (wait for it, wait for it) GROUCHY MOTHER.
Simon made a gigantic mess with the Legos by pouring out the entire tub of 12,649 pieces. After his early shower, he was told repeatedly to clean up the mess. He continued to play and not listen. I finally shut the bedroom door and said that I didn’t want to see his face again until it was clean. He ate supper at 8:00.
After baths, bowls of cereal for supper, brushing of teeth, books, and bedtime I came downstairs. I immediately (seriously, I wasn’t even down here two minutes) hear Bennett yelling, "I need go potty, Mama." After hearing the toilet flush repeatedly, I head upstairs to find a half naked two year old with his head over the toilet watching as two plastic glow bracelets go round and round in the water.
HOUSTON, I HAVE OFFICIALLY REACHED MY BREAKING POINT. PLEASE SEND REINFORCEMENTS.