Tomorrow is Matty’s birthday and it just wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t loudly proclaim my love for him on the Internet.
I love him and his old balls.
Just kidding. (Like I could call that a birthday post.) So Internet, did you know that he is turning 35 years old? It freaks me out a little that he’s almost forty. FORTY. Isn’t that, like, putting the old in old school? Of course it is- especially considering my age. Have I ever shared with you how old I am? (Hint: his hand rocked the cradle.) Are you ready? Brace yourselves. Here goes.
I am 27.
I know. OLD BALLS meets YOUNG TITS.
BUTTTTTTT (See how I did that there?) enough about me, let’s talk more about him. Matty, you really are the best. You are the best husband. The best provider. The best cleaner (pending I tell you how to do first). The best driver (pending I tell you how to get there). The best dog poop scooper. The best cook, helper, lover. You are the better brother. The apple of my eye.
Not to mention you are the best Daddy too. Don’t believe me? Ask the boys.
So here’s to you, MTP. I can’t wait to grow another year older with you. (Just think, I’ll almost be thirty!) We’ve got big things in store for this year (a baby girl!) and I am so glad to walk with you. May you have your cake and eat it too.
Happy birthday, love.