I'm leaving Cora tomorrow morning with a friend. Bennett will be at preschool and I am going to substitute in Simon's classroom. It will be Mikayla's first time to keep Cora. It will also be Cora's first time to be with someone besides family. Since August, I have worked a handful of times. I've left her with my Mom and Dad once. Katie, the neighbor who might as well be family, has kept her long enough for me to run and do school pick-up.
Never with any one else.
In a perfect world, I wouldn't work EVER. I would putter around my house all day. I would cook delicious meals from scratch that everyone eats without complaints. (Hell, they might even ask for seconds!) I would read endless stories to the children while the maid sweeps the floor. My patience would never be worn thin and my garden would always be growing. I'd have a fabulous figure, an envious wardrobe, and perfect skin.
I wouldn't owe the hospital any money. My heart would be thinking more about others and less about myself.
But that's not the world I live in. Instead, I shriek when Simon and Bennett drive me crazy. I make muffins but only if I have a mix. My jeans don't fit and my BFF told me my sweaters were out of style. I spend too much time wanting what I can't have and dwelling on what I think I need. (AFFILIATE LINK: CLICK HERE AND JOIN ZULILY. You're welcome.) My checking account hovers around empty more often than not and my savings account even lower. I spend only in cash and I (seemingly) never have enough.
So tomorrow I will get up. I will yell at the children to hurry and grumble about having nothing to wear in my huge, walk-in closet. I will pump plenty of milk for Cora and I will pack a diaper bag full of expensive, perfect cloth diapers. I will rush out the door, probably 10 minutes later than I should be leaving, and I will work the morning away. I will leave Cora in gracious, loving hands.
I will not worry. I will be thankful for my friends.
Not only for the ones who tell me that my sweaters are out of style but also the ones who trade childcare for free.
I am blessed and I know it. If only I didn't need reminding.
7 down, 23 to go.
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